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document.write( " Speaking of Sports \n" ); document.write( "June 10, 2008 \n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( "\n" ); document.write( " TRS: The Real Story Behind the Garza-Navarro Meeting \n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( "EXCLUSIVE: The \n" ); document.write( " Tampa Bay Sports Net has in its possession the conversations \n" ); document.write( " between Rays' pitcher Matt Garza and catcher Dioner Navarro on the mound, \n" ); document.write( " when Garza got a close-up look at what Navarro wears on his face, in the \n" ); document.write( " dugout when they met again and in the runway leading to the visitor's \n" ); document.write( " clubhouse. \n" ); document.write( "Without anyone's \n" ); document.write( " knowledge, a miniature microphone was cleverly embedded in the catcher's \n" ); document.write( " mask padding and every word was heard across the Gulf of Mexico (when you \n" ); document.write( " are in an area loaded with 1,000-5,000 watt radio stations, you know you can \n" ); document.write( " hear them further out in the water to the west than you do over land to the \n" ); document.write( " east). \n" ); document.write( "So without \n" ); document.write( " further adieu, TBSN brings you the complete blow-by-blow from start to \n" ); document.write( " finish. \n" ); document.write( "\n" ); document.write( " ************* \n" ); document.write( "Dioner Navarro, \n" ); document.write( " upon arriving at the mound at the Rangers Ballpark in Arlington after Garza \n" ); document.write( " gave up a two-run homer: "What the hell are you doing?" \n" ); document.write( "Matt Garza: \n" ); document.write( " "What?" \n" ); document.write( "DN: \n" ); document.write( " "You're pitching like a girl." \n" ); document.write( "MG: \n" ); document.write( " "You're the one who has to squat, not me. Get lost." \n" ); document.write( "DN: \n" ); document.write( " "Listen Mr. Venus De Milo, I'd like to tell Joe what kind of fastball you \n" ); document.write( " have but I ain't caught one yet." \n" ); document.write( "MG: "Hey, \n" ); document.write( " I'll start pitching when you start hitting." \n" ); document.write( "DN: "Are \n" ); document.write( " you nuts? Have you seen my average?" \n" ); document.write( "MG: "Oh, \n" ); document.write( " sorry. I watched The Natural before the game and I loved that line." \n" ); document.write( "DN: \n" ); document.write( " "Knock, knock. Anyone home up there? We're playing a game here." \n" ); document.write( "MG: "Get \n" ); document.write( " that mask out of my face. You want to ugly up this GQ face?" \n" ); document.write( "DN: "I got \n" ); document.write( " more than this mask for ya." \n" ); document.write( "MG: "Oh \n" ); document.write( " yeah?" \n" ); document.write( "DN: "Yeah! \n" ); document.write( " And to think we traded Delmon Young for you." \n" ); document.write( "MG: "I'll \n" ); document.write( " start pitching when Delmon Young starts hitting. So there." \n" ); document.write( "DN: \n" ); document.write( " "Pitchers." \n" ); document.write( "************* \n" ); document.write( "Meanwhile, \n" ); document.write( " manager Joe Maddon has a flashback to Boston and pops open a '94 Harlan \n" ); document.write( " Estate Cabernet Sauvignon while he waits for his battery to come back to the \n" ); document.write( " dugout after the inning. \n" ); document.write( "Joe Maddon \n" ); document.write( " to both players: "What the heck just happened out there?" \n" ); document.write( "DN: "I \n" ); document.write( " dunno. Nothing skip." \n" ); document.write( "MG: That's \n" ); document.write( " crap. He called me a girl and mashed his mask into this pretty face." \n" ); document.write( "JM: "Well \n" ); document.write( " you were throwing like you had a dress on." \n" ); document.write( "MG: See D, \n" ); document.write( " you even got Joe calling me names." \n" ); document.write( "JM: "No I \n" ); document.write( " didn't." (Maddon takes huge gulp from his Reidel Sommelier) \n" ); document.write( "DN: "No he \n" ); document.write( " didn't." \n" ); document.write( "MG: "Yes \n" ); document.write( " he did." (Garza flails his arms and knocks over the rest of Maddon's $1,200 \n" ); document.write( " bottle of wine) \n" ); document.write( "JM: "Why \n" ); document.write( " you......." \n" ); document.write( "DN: "Don't \n" ); document.write( " worry skip, I'll take care of your light stuff." \n" ); document.write( "MG: "I'll \n" ); document.write( " knock you all the way back to the Yankees' farm system....." \n" ); document.write( "************* \n" ); document.write( "The two players \n" ); document.write( " head down the steps to take their "misunderstanding" out of the range of the \n" ); document.write( " cameras as to not make people think this was a Manny Ramirez-Kevin Youkilis \n" ); document.write( " redux. Little did they know that new assistant video director Jonny Gomes \n" ); document.write( " was there for such an occasion, should it arise. \n" ); document.write( "Gomes, it was \n" ); document.write( " learned, was trying to earn some extra cash. He tried to eat some Coco Crisp \n" ); document.write( " during the game and the headmaster gave him a time out because meals are \n" ); document.write( " served before and after games. \n" ); document.write( "Taken back by \n" ); document.write( " Gomes being dressed as a sumo wrestler, everyone started to laugh, Garza \n" ); document.write( " went to the clubhouse, Navarro returned to the dugout and Maddon ordered \n" ); document.write( " some Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. \n" ); document.write( "It was cheaper. \n" ); document.write( "************* \n" ); document.write( "After the game, \n" ); document.write( " Garza was telling the press how sorry he was and Navarro was holding court \n" ); document.write( " about the loss of some expensive wine. He is a beer drinker but sympathized \n" ); document.write( " with his manager. \n" ); document.write( ""I know what the \n" ); document.write( " price of a 40 is so it bothers me to see that happen," he said. "If Joe had \n" ); document.write( " a 40, it would have blown up and everyone would have been hit with flying \n" ); document.write( " glass. Thank goodness wine isn't carbonated." \n" ); document.write( "A reporter told \n" ); document.write( " him that Boone's Farm has some bubbles in it. \n" ); document.write( ""Oh, it's like \n" ); document.write( " Champale, huh?" \n" ); document.write( "Maddon also \n" ); document.write( " expressed disappointment that Gomes tagged along on this road trip instead \n" ); document.write( " of going home like all suspended players do. \n" ); document.write( ""I was ready to \n" ); document.write( " relax and watch Navvy and Matt go at it for a few rounds and then Jonny goes \n" ); document.write( " and spoils it," said the skipper. "I'm mad. I'd suspend him but he already \n" ); document.write( " is. And my wine is gone and I have to drink this crap. When do we play the \n" ); document.write( " Sox again?" \n" ); document.write( "A reporter told \n" ); document.write( " him that Gomes diaper had fallen off and that's why everyone was laughing. \n" ); document.write( ""Oh, that's a \n" ); document.write( " different story," he said. "Now he's going to Durham." \n" ); document.write( "\n" ); document.write( " ************* \n" ); document.write( "BEWARE THE \n" ); document.write( " TERRORISTS: It appears the lunatic fringe of politics have interpreted \n" ); document.write( " the fist bump between Senator Barack Obama and his wife after he wrapped up \n" ); document.write( " the Democratic nomination for President as some sort of terrorist signal. \n" ); document.write( "With all the fist \n" ); document.write( " bumping in baseball, maybe fans should check the baseballs flipped into the \n" ); document.write( " stands before they hand them off to their kids. The ink in Bud Selig's \n" ); document.write( " signature could be laced with poison tomatoes or spinach. \n" ); document.write( "\n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( "\n" ); document.write( " \n" ); document.write( "
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